Breaking Point.

I will live forever,
without the sweat,
the blood,
the tears,
the hurt,
the rejection,
because I don’t have to act
I can live in the world of dreams forever
and each day would be my first
each song would be my enlightenment
each memory will fade into nothing
and I will start over
each day

because I am the anomaly
and its on the tip of my tongue
the revelation

I want to want to live
why
cant I
why hold on, to people and old memories?

if its not by force and structure how then
by love?
I cannot fake this love
and i cannot attain it

validation
I want to know
that I’m not forgotten
whose job is it to remind me?
to remember me?
all my life I’ve been so fleeting
nor here nor there
alon(e)
in translation
in the the corner
in transit
away
never there
absent
absent minded

its cold outside
its colder in

a kindred spirit
or perfection
its a valid quest
especially since none of it matters

how can i believe in love when i don’t have any idea how to feel it?
why would anyone love me if I’m so disgustingly unlovable.

everything is wrong
imperfect
blemished

no blame for running away
this is the breaking point
I will create you
I will make god
especially for me
it’s the only way

i will draw a beautiful morning with you

and suddenly every piece falls into place
[this message is in code]
a secret that’s the rest of the silent world is undeserving of

suddenly i understand every song
and its about me

and i will make you
i now what to do
wonderland will be resurrected, and as its rightful owner will be the queen.