Archive for August, 2006

The Birth of a Blog.

Posted in Random Randomness by Randomique on August 27, 2006 by Randomique Jester

It’s ironic really that I love depicting my own life even though I dread it.
Amazingly enough, I can do just that very adequately.
I’ve been told I have the soul of a writer- and yes, I do enjoy seeing myself as one- and I suppose, this is expressed in my tendency to exaggerate and blow things out of their original proportion to create- successfully- something more captivating and interesting: my random, chaotic, boring, beautiful life (a beautified version on electronic paper).
I should have named my blog “boring and yet so… intriguing” –an appropriate paradox.
Goddamnit, my life’s a paradox, and I am one.
I know millions of people who contradict themselves.
And I keep using the term “ironic” and ironically not knowing what it actually means.
Does anyone?
Sometimes the simplest things tangle and perplex us. Sometimes we ourselves confuse ourselves, with unnecessary drama and tire ourselves with emotional histrionics.
I hate drama and try to avoid it and by doing so, consequently, I shut myself from anything that remotely involves emotion.
Such as… love, sex, people and all that connects them.
If anti-social behaviour is a developed disorder, than I surely succeeded in developing it in the past two years.
What happened in the past couple of years?-you ask. (Let’s assume someone is reading this godforsaken blog. Indulge me for a moment.)
Well, not much, but a lot.-Yet another paradox.
I left my home, my house, my friends and I found my home and didn’t lose any friends- because I didn’t have any in the first place.
Okay fine. Exaggerating again.
What was, was and I can’t deny that I once loved these people, and they loved me back.
I loved “that” home, and considered it “my home”. That language was my own- as English is my language now. I loved it, defended it, like a true patriot, I still do.
I owe many things to that country- how it defined ME, my interests, my personality, my likes, dislikes and priorities. But even there, as here I am a lone immigrant.
Only two years, in this new, strange, beautiful place I found myself- almost randomly.
And already my English is impressive. It was good, once. But today it is exalted.
I expected things to change. But with this new home I found new challenges.
I’m not sure what aggrevates me more, challenges or the lack of them.

I’m rambling on about the tangible and the intangible, without even knowing where I’m going with this.

So, long and thanks for all the fish.