The Goodbye.

Pathetic.
How sad?
Spread the news, or I will.
Who’s sinking their teeth in the juiciest gossip?
Who will indulge in my misery?
Why, my beloved true friends will.
Ah, but no body cares.
I almost forgot.
This is a world where you think you know someone for two years and they never for once took off their mask. Maybe it has imbedded in their face, so they can’t take it off; they start believing the lies that they feed you.
Here kitty kitty…
I remember the date, it’s apt. March 21st is probably when you spotted me.
“hey wanna chat??”
I should have said, no; I’m out of your league. Move along, grow up, shrivel up and die but don’t take me with you. I deserve better.
This is a world where you have to find out the hard way.
My only clue was, the mirror image I serviced for the culprit. He, or rather “it” (I don’t think ‘it’ is human, a beast consumed by the mask) saw itself in me! Accused me of all the things it didn’t have the bravery and decency to accuse itself of!
Well, pardon me while I burst into flames, for your own mistakes.
I took it lying down… but the dog has not seized to blame me for his insecurities.
He barked me up a tree, while I tried to make him understand how it feels like to be fucked so deeply until the point you’re punctured and bleeding to death.
I know it is over, not by my own accord.
I contemplated in my weakness to forgive and forget… to excuse his actions, to understand. I cornered myself into guilt. But he never once, reared his ugly head, or begged for forgiveness, promised me the world, sent me flowers – nothing as cliché and as pathetic, nothing to admit he ever felt anything for me.
Just as well…
I kept on repeating as if in a nightmare, “it isn’t fair”, but I couldn’t awake.
Instead, I am living it every day, while it searches for another victim, I’m sure.
Well, good luck.
May your search be fruitful and you find all that you deserve, and oh so much more.
But if for a minute you thought, that anyone, at any time, would dedicate herself to you as I did with her body and soul, giving herself entirely to you… you are sadly mistaken.
There will be no other like me… one that was pure and uncorrupted by anyone else’s touch. I was practically dedicated to you. But you wanted more…
There will be no one else who cared as much about your lowly existence. As much as I did, to the point of complete selflessness. But you wanted more.
There will never be a more beautiful butterfly to emerge at the end of the transformation. The ones you’ll get will be tattered and used, with broken wings who will tatter and use you back.
There will be no one else, who will cry for your future with her and not for her own ego.
You wanted more, but I was the supreme. You cannot physically get more than perfection itself.
Unaltered, unchiseled – a work in progress, but I promise you, one that would have blown your mind.
I guess my faith in God has been renewed, because I was born for greatness and you were stalling me with your inhibitions. God has pushed me unto something better.
After all soul mates never die and you were simply not the one, because you are dead to me.

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3 Responses to “The Goodbye.”

  1. It took time, but as the anger subsided I understood, and I learned to let it go.
    Then again the choice was done for me, you never begged for my forgiveness, or pursued me, or called me so I figured you were fine with how you left things.
    I remembered that you never tried to comfort me any other time when you hurt me, I guess it’s just not in your nature to.
    It’s good to know you regret it, it makes me see you in a better light.
    But regardless I don’t know who you are, I don’t trust you and I never will.
    I hope losing me (if you even consider it a loss) has made you a better person, and you will not hurt your future gfs.
    I hope your search for someone better has been fruitful. Too bad, you started looking while we were still together… you should have never gotten back to me in the first place, to spare me the pain, but you weren’t that selfless.

    • Anonymous Says:

      He feels bad and is filled with remorse. I am truly sorry.

      • you’re always fucking sorry
        all you do is be sorry
        all you know how to do is be sorry.
        but you dont take responsibilities for your actions,
        you don’t care about the feelings of the people you hurt
        and when you do hurt them you expect things to be magically fixed
        without having to lift a finger.
        you take me for granted,
        but this time it’s over.
        i will no longer stand for it
        i won’t let you make me feel unimportant and unloved and useless…
        you hurt me one too many times and you didn’t even have the decency to show regret to give me the time of day and say you’re sorry.
        you have lost me and maybe sooner or later you will realize that I was the best thing you’ve ever had.
        that I was the one, and you took me for granted, you didn’t fight for me and you’ve lost me
        but it will be too late.

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